Something about hearing the gentle pitter patter of rain on the roof while you snuggle down into your warm covers feels incredibly cozy and comforting, EXCEPT when you want to enjoy the outdoors on your vacation. We drove all this way. enduring eclipse traffic and dog farts, and the weather is not cooperating with us this week. Nothing but rain and gray skies in the forecast. *Shakes fist angrily at sky while Volcano blares from the lodge.* True to their name, the Smoky Mountains were nearly completely masked by a thick layer of mist.
What can you do? A this point, you have a camperful of kids who have been trapped in our moving tin can for three days and now wish to be entertained. The answer is, you buy yourselves some time to make a plan by exploring the Camp Margaritaville Lodge and order a LOT of food.
Frankly, this place is incredible. Every detail is is on brand with the Margaritaville lifestyle – a Parrothead paradise! Even the campsite numbers are listed on Margaritaville license plates! Plus, there is a lost salt shaker hidden somewhere in the lodge each day. If you find it, you win a prize. I imagine this place is mobbed during the high season, but for now, it’s completely empty, from the arcade and game room, to the activity hall and restaurant. They have the biggest foosball table I have ever seen – big enough for at least six people to play on each side! We did find a couple of families also escaping the rain in the duckpin bowling alley, which we absolutely will come back to one evening.
Lunch in the bar put us in vacation mode! Wings, burgers, tacos, quesadillas and these incredible hand-cut potato chips. (Elon folks, – these chips are a reincarnation of the chips from Ham’s – I was right back in Burlington in 1999 – Yum!) This quote was right above the bar – the right place at the right time. We make our own fun, pivot and reboot.
With full bellies, we headed back to Kevin made a plan. What are the most Smoky Mountain things we could do in the rain? Were you thinking visit the largest knife store in the world and then attend the Dolly Parton Stampede Dinner Show? Probably, not, but there it was.
At this point, you may be asking yourself, what does the largest knife store in the world look like? I will just say that if you have a need for a knife and you cannot find that knife in this store, it doesn’t exist. In addition to the knives, you can find guns, taxidermied (is this a word) Smoky Mountain animals, camping supplies, purses, t-shirts, and a wide assortment of novelty items. At this point, you can let your imagination run wild. You probably could name anything and it would be located on any of the three stories of this store. Kai was in heaven. I probably could have dropped him off and picked up up at closing and he would have had his best day ever. Rob would have spent an equal amount of time in the tool shop across the parking lot, but that’s not why we came to Pigeon Forge.
We came to Pigeon Forge to experience the best of the smoky Mountains. And when the rain foiled our plans, we went to the next best thing: the Jurassic Jungle Boat Ride. This classic attraction combines some of the world’s most rejected dinosaur animatronics with the fear of possibly being murdered in a harrowing 11-minute cruise through a setting, I am positive, that is more terrifying with the lights on. There were laughs. There were screams. There were no photos taken because of the absolute blackness of the ride’s interior.
Topping off this part of the day’s adventure was a trip to the Goats on the Roof tourist shop. Upon entering the store, we quickly realized that this was not the store’s primary location, as there were not goats on the roof, but instead, goats in a small pen at the back of the store. At any rate, we met the Golden Girls, four super-cute Nigerian goats born in February and shopped around the store. Marlie bought an old-school slingshot and entertained herself behind the camper for a couple of hours in the afternoon. We’ll find the original Goats on the Roof store later this week.
Arguably, the most famous individual from this area is the one-and-only Dolly Parton. While not from Pigeon Forge, she is from Sieverville, TN, Pigeon-Forge adjacent. I love a good dinner show and there are a few pretty big ones here in Pigeon Forge: The Dolly Parton Stampede, The Hatfields and McCoys, and the Pirates Voyage. Based on the amount of pure Americana promised in the advertising, we chose Dolly. On our way to the Stampede, we were flagged down by a mini-van full of twenty-something young men yelling and waving their arms. We had taken off with a dog tether attached to the hitch of the car and it was just dragging and sparking behind us. I’m fairly certain they thought we had dragged our dog behind us unknowingly and were probably horrified (a la Vacation). Let me be clear, that did NOT happen. The tether was empty.
Obviously, the real Dolly Parton was not actually in the show, but her spirit was present… and her voice… in many of the songs included in the show. As you might expect, it was a mix of horse riding, storytelling, acrobatics, comedy, and patriotism – all good fun! There was even a competition between the North and South, which ended with a flag-passing race. This event ending up sinking the North since our side was full of bus-tour passengers who followed the rules of the competition instead of cheating like the rest of the crowd. All in all, a fun time enjoyed by everyone in our group!
While it might not have been the outdoor adventures we expected, it was a good day: knives, goats, dinosaurs, horses. A pretty good day! It looks like we might get a break in the weather tomorrow and these kids and dogs (and adults) need some fresh air and movement! Hoping to get to the Smokies for a good hike. Whatever we choose, we are making “margaritas” from limes, choosing to find the joy whatever the obstacles and loving every minute! Cheers!
Wandering, But Not Lost 